For the first time ever, American Idol holds auditions in Omaha, Nebraska. And after an hour of watching the few auditions featured, I asked myself, who knew there were so many queens in the Cornhusker State?
The first contestant, Chris Bernheisal, declared this to be the greatest moment of his life and even brought bribes, oops! I mean, gifts for the judges. Chris effeminately described American Idol as a second chance for people to pursue their dreams and started getting weepy. His audition was a combination of bad singing, weird dancing and shaky handstands while Randy and Simon laughed. After Chris demonstrated his “red carpet” announcement, Simon ordered him to tell the local FOX affiliate to send him to Hollywood for the Finale and he can be the Next Seacrest (Oh and be sure to tell Seacrest Simon said so).
While waiting for Paula to show, Jason Rich, a small town boy who works part-time as a farmer, performed and got stuck after the first line. And the second. And the third. Finally, he remembered enough of the song to give a Simon and Randy a reason to send him to Hollywood. Simon warned him there are no second chances in Hollywood if you forget the lyrics.
Paula finally arrived and we met Rachel Wicker, a six-time arm wrestling champion. After defeating most of the contestants and a stalemate with Ryan, Rachel offered to wrestle Simon, but he turned her down (BAWK! BAWK!). Rachel sang a country song complete with what Randy described as a “half-yodel”, then “strong-armed her way into Hollywood” by arm-wrestling Paula.
But Rachel wasn’t the only wrestler in the crowd. Sara Whittaker, a former professional wrestler known as “Lady Morgue”, sang what Simon described as “the soundtrack to this town” in a voice that did NOT match her personality. After Sara left, Ryan entered the audition room complaining Sara was not happy about being turned down.
Ryan and Simon bickered for awhile then Paula traded places Ryan during Samantha Sidley’s audition. From the start, it was obvious Samantha had confidence issues and the little girl sway she did while singing proved her lack. But the judges thought she was good and all four (if you count Ryan) said yes, with hopes that she’ll improve her showmanship, so Samantha is on her way to Hollywood.
Lack of performance and showmanship seems to be a theme in Omaha, because the next contestant was also told she needed to work on her performance. Angelica Puente was told she has a promising voice but she needs to quit listening to the divas.
Instead, start listening to…rockers? With the success of Season 5 runner up Chris Daughtry, more rockers than ever have been auditioning, including David Cook of my hometown, Tulsa, Oklahoma. David managed to get a ticket to Hollywood but was told…what else? Work on your persona!
Johnny Escamilla has plenty of personality, unfortunately it’s scary enough to get rid of Paula’s hiccups! He showed up wearing a sparkly gold jacket and was everything Simon hated. Johnny was the perfect example of “something ain’t right” just like the medley of bad singers featured after his performance.
Thank goodness, Omaha saved the best for last! Les Marlow impressed the judges with his friendly, outgoing personality. And he admitted his mother says she “raised the perfect homecoming queen; too bad it wasn’t one of her daughters.” Paula liked him so much, she wanted to take him home as a pet.
Only 19 contestants from Omaha made it to Hollywood week, but maybe more will be found Wednesday night as Idol “savors the flavor” of Miami.
