Confessions of a Chataholic

To confess a fault freely is the next thing to being innocent of it.

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My husband, Charlie, tells some of the funniest stories ever from his childhood or his Army days.  Even though I’ve heard it multiple times, the following story, which I call “The Popcorn Story” never fails to make me laugh. One time, I laughed so hard, I actually peed my pants. 

 Here’s the story as he told me (with some embellishments of course):

Once up on a time, a long time ago, when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, and my husband was a teenager, he had a friend named Ralph. Ralph wasn’t the smartest guy in town, but he had a nice car. One evening, he took a local girl to the drive-in movie on a date. While they were waiting for the movie to start, Ralph went to the concession stand to buy popcorn. Remember, back in those days, popcorn came in a paper box, not a cardboard tub, and the bottom of the box could be opened.

 When Ralph got back with the popcorn, he got it in his head that it would be funny to take his wee-wee out of his pants and put the popcorn box on top of it, so when he dated reached in the box for some popcorn, she’d get a “surprise”. Sure enough, when she reached in there and grabbed his pee-pee instead of popcorn, she got a surprise.

 Then Ralph got a surprise.

 She took her hand out, reached over and opened his car door, pushed him out, scooted over to the driver’s side, shut the door, started the car and drove off. Ralph was dumbfounded that she didn’t find it as funny as he did. He eventually called his dad to come pick him up at the drive-in. When his dad arrived, he wanted to know what happened to the car.

 Embarrassed to admit the truth, Ralph confessed about the trick he played on his date. As they drove home, they passed the girl’s home and there was Ralph’s car sitting in her driveway. Instead of pulling over and getting Ralph’s car for him, his dad told him he deserved what he got for such a mean trick and to teach him a lesson, he was going to let the girl keep the car and drive it for a week.

 Poor Ralph. A couple of years later, he got my husband and some other friends in trouble by telling them they could borrow the car…but that is a story for another blog.

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Written by ChattyCathy867

December 1, 2010 at 10:15 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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