Confessions of a Chataholic

To confess a fault freely is the next thing to being innocent of it.

Posts Tagged ‘ChattyCathy867

Real Housewives Don’t Exhibit Much “Model Behavior”

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Real Housewives seem to have anything BUT Model Behavior. I see them for the most part as an example of “how not to act”.  

What’s up with Kim Z saying “That’s Retarded!” to tell someone she likes their outfit?  When did this become acceptable? 

NeNe and Dwight

Maybe Dwight screwed up and maybe he didn’t. Maybe he overstepped the boundaries of the friendship. But where does she get off confronting him at a public event instead of calling him up on the phone and asking him to sit down with her at her home and talking about the issue? If I have a problem with someone, I don’t meet them in a public restaurant or whatever and talk. Even if I could hear better, I wouldn’t do that because privacy is a requirement for having a real conversation to resolve a dispute. At least in this episode, they got together in a private room at the restaurant owned by Cynthia’s boyfriend.

NeNe and Bryson

As I watched NeNe go off on Bryson about how lenient she’s been with him, I could see myself saying the same thing. I have an 18 year-old daughter who still lives with us. I’m so grateful she at least works a part-time for the moment despite on-going health issues related to the car wreck she was in last October. I’m so thankful the Health Care Reform Act passed because my daughter can stay on my insurance until she’s 26 – and not have to be enrolled in school full-time. As much as she wants to go to school, she may have to do part of her classes online because her back hurts her all the time. The new medication makes her excessively tired. But we had a comparable moment when we asked her to have her guests leave at 2 am. I basically told her, “You’re not my roommate, you’re my daughter.” If she pays 1/3 of the bills and for her car, we’ll consider her a roommate.

Kim Z and Kandi

I was glad to see that someone in this world doesn’t allow business to get in the way of friendship. Kudos to Kandi! She admitted to making a mistake by not having a standard agreement put in writing regarding royalties of Kim’s “Tardy for the Party” song. She’ll know better next time she works with Kim Z. According to her  BravoTV.com blog, Kandi and Kim Z had an agreement that shared a portion of the royalties with the original author of the song as well as one of Kim’s daughters.

Phaedra and NeNe

I feel like I’ve gotten lost somewhere along the way…why does NeNe hate Phaedra so much? Obviously they know each other somehow; but, according to NeNe, not when they were children living in the same town.

Phaedra and Apollo

I honestly don’t know what to think about Phaedra, an attorney, being married to a convicted felon. You’d think she could do better than that, right? Does she have self-esteem issues? Her blog reads like a legal brief and mentions that Malcom X was a felon. Malcom X didn’t marry his attorney, though.

Pity Party

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Bactrim

I’m not in a good place right now. Mostly because I’m having some side effects as a result of taking Bactrim and to top it off, the noises from the implant are making me nauseous.  I need to get out but I’m not supposed to be in the sun while on Bactrim, so going for a walk or to the park during the day isn’t really an option.  Neither is playing in the garden and I need to plant the sweet potatoes I bought last week. 

My sweet potato plants

I’ve never planted sweet potatoes before.  Someone suggested I use sweet potato vines as a ground cover in an area where the dogs have ruined the yard.  I think the vines would be a good idea, especially if I get some fresh sweet potatoes at the end of the summer. Unfortunately, mice like them too.  UGH.  We always get mice but we also have 4 cats to keep them under control.

Miss Kitty

Speaking of cats…Lil Miss Bitchy Kitty found herself stuck outside in the thunderstorm last night.  When Charlie opened the front door to watch the storm, Miss Kitty was meowing pitifully begging to come in the house.  I guess she didn’t want to go all the way around to the side of the house to use the dog door.  As hard as that rain was coming down, I probably would have sat on the porch and cried my eyes out too.

I want to cry now because the implant is working as well as I’d hoped.  But, both the doctor and the audiologist told me I need to give it time. Like six months to a year for it to work.  I also need to start auditory therapy soon, but we aren’t sure if the insurance will cover the service.  One thing my audiologist suggested was reading out loud.  I also have a computer program I can use.  I need either a new FM loop because mine has disappeared or the audio cord that fits directly into the processor so the sound will go directly into my processor and eliminate the background noise.  I looked it up online and the Nucleus cord costs $150 for mono $200 for stereo. 

HOLY CRAP!  We’re not rich people you know.  We’re living off of Charlie’s disability right now, which is more than enough, but we also need to save for a “rainy day” in case we need major house repairs.  What am I talking about? We DO need some major home repairs.  And the contractor that remodeled the kitchen for Charlie’s ex-wife was a complete idiot.  The kitchen needs to be remodeled to fix what the remodeler messed up.  Does that make sense? 

I do have some good news, so this blog is not just another bitchfest.  Meagan finally found a summer job, working at a tanning salon nearby.  I’m so happy I could BURST!  Now she will stay busy, earn her own money, and get some experience so she can get a decent work history.

Now, if only I could find a position, even an unpaid internship…

Written by ChattyCathy867

June 15, 2010 at 1:42 pm

How I Met My Husband

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Cathy and Charlie

As I sit here watching the OKC Great Flood of 2010 on the news, I’m thinking about what to write for a blog about meeting my husband Charlie and our first date to post on McLinky Monday.  (Has anyone else ever noticed how all these major storms occur on Mondays?)

In April 2004, I had been divorced about 6 months after a two-year separation that involved an ugly custody battle.  The kids and I lived in a small all-bills paid apartment in downtown Tulsa near the Arkansas River so I would be close to work in case the car broke down and I could walk to work.

I spent a lot of time playing on the computer and typing in an AOL chatroom because I was broke, didn’t have any friends, and had no idea how to meet people.  Plus, for someone with my type of hearing loss, a chatroom was a great way to keep up with a conversation. 

One day, I noticed a new name in my regular chatroom and the posts were cracking me up.  I hadn’t laughed in a long time like I did when I talked to “Wranglrm”.  Over the next six weeks, we would chat in the room and occasionally in a private message.  He was never inappropriate, but would use the private message to tell me more about himself and his life.  He was unhappily married at the time and would occasionally dump on me about his marital problems.  My response to everything was, “You need to sit down and talk to your wife about what you’ve told me.”  At the time, she was visiting her mother in Georgia, who was recuperating from surgery.

After six weeks of chatting, he told me he would like to visit Tulsa because he’d never been there before. I suggested we meet up and attend Mayfest.  I’d never even seen a picture of him before, so it probably wasn’t the smartest move on my part to meet some strange man, but several people I knew in person had met him before and said he was ok.  (We’re not even going to get into the part that he was married to someone else at the time…yet.)  Charlie had admitted to me he was 21 years older than me (old enough to be my daddy.)  What he didn’t tell me was that he LOOKED old enough to be my daddy.  So, I opened the door to this balding, grey haired little man who oddly enough, reminded me of Ernest P. Worrell from the Braum’s commercials.

My babysitter was running late, so he sat on my love seat while my daughter and I sat on the couch and watched Law & Order together.  Meagan and I looked over and noticed that Charlie was SOUND ASLEEP on my love seat and started giggling.  The poor guy had worked a full eight-hour shift at the post office in OKC and then drove 2 hours to my place after work.  He was pooped. 

When the babysitter arrived, Charlie and I left for Mayfest and walked around for a little while looking at the booths.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone we knew from the chatroom and pointed them out to him, while we stayed out of their line of sight.  (Ok, I admit it. We HID so they wouldn’t see us and we could kind of spy on them.  And I was laughing because this girl was supposed to be “engaged” to a guy Charlie knew in OKC, but she was at Mayfest with her husband.)

After spying on mutual acquaintances walking around Mayfest for about an hour or so, we decided to find something to eat and stopped by Bourbon Street on 15th.  I love to eat and by then I was STARVING.  Remember, I was a poor, broke-ass single mother and didn’t get to go out to eat at nice restaurants sans children too often.  I ordered the Chicken Alfredo and must have eaten at least half of it in between laughing my ass off while Charlie told me stories about his life.  Charlie took me home at 11:00 and I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek then went inside while he headed back to OKC. 

I couldn’t believe how much fun I had hanging out with some guy 20 years older than me.  And he was a perfect gentleman too, unlike the men my age who were all trying to jump in bed with me on the first date.  I felt bad for him because he was in a bad situation with his marriage.  Over the next few months, I encouraged him to be honest with his wife and seek counseling.  I dated other men during that time, but I never had as much fun with them as I had with Charlie. 

Charlie filed for divorce that fall and it was finalized at the end of May 2005, a year after we met in person.  We were married June 6, 2005 in Fort Smith, AR.  We had a long-distance relationship for the previous six months and were tired of not being together.  We enjoyed each other’s company and we had been best of friends for the past year too.

So that’s the story of “how I met my husband”.  It wasn’t the best of situations, and several people we knew called me a gold-digging home wrecker because we married so quickly after his divorce was finalized.  But, five years later, we are still together and still enjoying being a family.

Written by ChattyCathy867

June 14, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Wordless Wednesday

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Click My Pic to find out why I'm smiling!

Written by ChattyCathy867

June 10, 2010 at 12:14 am

A-DAY Here at Last!

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Lookiing good and feeling fine for A-DAY!

Today was the first day since my surgery that I put on makeup and fixed my hair.  Today was a special day.  I had my processor activiated for the first time (or as the cochlear community calls it, “A-Day”).

My audiologist at HELP is Kela Miller, who is also a cochlear implant recipient.  As expected, I didn’t have the “miracle cure” when the processor was mapped and turned on. Kela played some tones of varying degrees and I told her I wasn’t sure if I was hearing the tones or if my tinnitus was acting up. But, from the way I responded, she said I was hearing high frequency tones I haven’t heard in 35 years.

 I’ve been wearing the processor most of the day and for awhile I wasn’t feeling so hot. We had to run to the mall for a minute to pick up a piece of pottery. We weren’t even there 15 minutes and I was ready to puke. I can feel the implant stimulating the nerve and I think the mall was so loud, my body couldn’t handle it!

 It doesn’t sound like my hearing aid. I’m not really recognizing any sounds at all, but I did respond to my husband talking. I had no idea he was saying something and turned around because I heard a kind of deep humming noise. Kela said I was hearing his voice.

 While I was in Kela’s office, she noticed something wasn’t quite right with my incision and suggested we call Dr. Berryhill’s ofice.  We did and the PA kind of drained the incision and removed the remaining surgical glue.  Dr. Berryhill wrote me a script for an antibiotic cream to help with the healing.  

The processor is exhausting right now.  And the draining process hurt a little bit, so I took the last percocet and crawled in bed to watch Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” for the 3rd time.

I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I look forward to it. I don’t mind hard work if being able to hear better is the end result. Next step: find out whether the insurance company is going to cover “auditory therapy”.

Written by ChattyCathy867

June 9, 2010 at 11:51 pm

Disapproval

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I’ve been thinking about the comments from people who don’t support my decision to receive a cochlear implant.  I’m sorry they don’t support my decision, but I don’t want to be deaf.  Why would I? I still remember being able to hear as a child.  I used to sing along with “Bye Bye Miss America Pie” when it played on the radio.  I was only 5 years old when my parents noticed I had a hearing loss, but I by then I had developed a large vocabulary, I was able to read on a higher level than most of my peers, and I loved music passionately.

I understand why someone who grew up Deaf wouldn’t want a cochlear implant (CI).  Asking Deaf to become hearing is like asking a leopard to change its spots.  Or like Michael Jackson becoming white.  It’s the core of their identity.  So, I get it.  I do.  I still have some bitterness regarding hearing people in my life insisting I become “healed” and no longer be “deaf”.  It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for them.

But I want to be able to have verbal conversations with people in my life.  I’m tired of being left out of the conversation because I can’t speech-read that much or that fast or I can’t see the person talking.  I’m determined to learn to hear without so many visual cues.

Written by ChattyCathy867

June 9, 2010 at 3:45 am

Who Was I in High School?

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High School Graduation - Class of 1985

 

During high school, I was the only deaf student at a private Christian school in Tulsa that was unprepared to provide adequate services for me in the early 80’s.  

I was isolated because no one wanted to take a chance on someone “different”.  It didn’t help that this particular school’s parent church was big on “faith healing”.  A disability meant you either didn’t have faith to believe in your healing or you were demon possessed.  (Someone in that church told my stepmother to “cast the demons of  hearing loss” out of  me.) 

I was a lonely girl who lost her mother at a young age.  My father remarried several times and his wife at the time (while I was in high school) had mental issues.  She was obsessed with her religious beliefs and married my father because he could provide for her, not because she loved him.  She eventually left him after I graduated from high school because he “wasn’t enough like Jesus”.  

High school was not a happy time.  My issues with my father made me clingy to the few boys that paid attention to me.  My lack of social skills made the “cool” kids avoid me. Yet, I was desperate to be accepted because I didn’t have any love or attention at home.  My sister and I had to compete for our stepmother’s affection; which she preferred to give her own daughter.  

Whether it be by exaggerating (and sometimes flat out lies) her life to make it look better than it was or by promiscuous relationships, a lonely teenage girl is going to find attention.  I ran away from home at 16 on multiple occasions and my parents admitted me to a private facility.  How sad is it that the seven months I spent in that facility was the happiest I’d been in years? 

I have not attended any reunions because until recently, I have not maintained any contact with the people who attended high school with me.  Why would I?  The majority made fun of me or outright ignored me.  One guy even wrote on my favorite shirt during math class.  And because I no longer share the religious beliefs of this church, I don’t have anything in common with 99% of the people who attended this school.  

Graduation from MNTC with my best bud Jennifer 2010

 

I may take a chance this fall and go to a reunion over Labor Day weekend if it happens.  I’m not the same person I was in high school.  I’m not the same person I was two years ago.  I’ve grown a lot and matured.  I even poke fun of myself.  The Internet has helped me expand my horizons and helped me to communicate.  I renewed a friendship with someone from high school and do my best to keep in touch with her even though she’s in Tulsa and I’m in the OKC  area.   I’m currently in the process of receiving a cochlear implant, which should help me understand what people are saying better than I do now.  I’ve got a great husband and two great kids that I love very much.  Life is good. 

This was a special post prepared for the “Real Housewives of Oklahoma”  website. 

Written by ChattyCathy867

June 9, 2010 at 1:50 am